Day Start with Quotes
All "Funny" Quotes
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
- Joey Adams
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
- Red Skelton
I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.
- Steven Wright
We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
- Bill Hicks
Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
- Woody Allen
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
- Charles Dudley Warner
That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye'.
- Richard Armour
If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.
- Noel Coward